


In Which the England Team aren't Sausages

by orphan_account, Prop_Logic



Category: Rugby RPF, Rugby Union RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prop_Logic/pseuds/Prop_Logic
Summary: “Ellis? Mate, you alright?”Jumping, Ellis swings around to face his Captain, taking in the bemused frown adorning Faz’s face even as he nods jerkily and tries to gather himself.“Yeah,” he assures quickly, clearing his throat. “I was just looking for you.”Faz’s lips quirk up in obvious amusement.“Just got distracted by my door, eh?”After years of struggling to accept himself, Ellis has finally reached a place where he feels ready to come out to those beyond his loved ones and let himself be who he really is. Luckily, he's far from alone in this next step.
Relationships: Ellis Genge & Leicester Tigers, Ellis Genge & Owen Farrell, Ellis Genge/Kyle Sinckler
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	In Which the England Team aren't Sausages

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been wanting to write Ellis/Kyle for a while, because, I mean... Look at them. Then England Rugby put out that Valentine's Day video and it sparked something to actually write about, which developed, as ideas do, into something which I actually managed to put some flesh and bones to, so here we are. 
> 
> While I remember, I'm put the YBWM series on hold, possibly forever, because Dylan's irritating me somewhat at the moment, and... yeah. I kind of want to move on to new ships, other ideas... Maybe even more on Dylan/Owen in a different universe, so to speak, just not...
> 
> Well, we'll see. 
> 
> (Also, I'm considering writing something which I feel might be somewhat *too* dark, but I'm not sure...? It would also involve me either writing someone as a terrible person, which is not really my 'thing', or creating an OC, which I'm also not particularly keen on. Thoughts?)

_England Camp, week before France v. England_

Drawing in a deep, steadying breath, Ellis rubs sweaty palms down the smooth material of his tracksuit, rolling his shoulders to straighten his back and lifting his chin. This is fine; he won’t be laughed at or ridiculed, and no one’s about to go spilling everything to the entire team – at least, not before he’s ready.

He just wishes Sincks could be here. Unfortunately, Kyle is busy, and Ellis is more than aware that this is something he should do alone, so here he stands, trying to build up the confidence that he normally holds in abundance – just to knock on his teammate’s door. Jesus Christ, he needs to get himself together and get a bloody move on.

“Ellis? Mate, you alright?”

Jumping, Ellis swings around to face his Captain, taking in the bemused frown adorning Faz’s face even as he nods jerkily and tries to gather himself.

“Yeah,” he assures quickly, clearing his throat. “I was just looking for you.”

Faz’s lips quirk up in obvious amusement.

“Just got distracted by my door, eh?” he prods, then nods to the door in question. “You want to come in, or…?”

Honestly, Ellis isn’t sure he minds – just as long as Willi isn’t around.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” he offers, trying to hide his uncertainty. “Alone, if possible.”

“Aw, Ellis, I’m flattered,” Faz teases, already leaning past him to unlock the door and push it open. “After you, mate. Willi? You mind if we take the room for a moment?”

“Er…” Willi glances between them, blinking, then pushes up off his bed. “Yeah, sure.”

Silent, Ellis waits while the scrumhalf vacates the room, trying not to let his apprehension show even though he knows that Faz is hardly the sort to call him out on it in a bad way. A little joking would probably go some way to easing his tension, in fact.

“So,” Faz starts when the door is closed behind Willi, settling down on the couch to cock his head expectantly. “What’s up, mate?”

For a moment, Ellis can only clear his throat nervously, suppressing the urge to fiddle with anything as he forces himself to meet Faz’s eyes – only that’s too awkward, so he has to look away again. He can’t believe he’s actually doing this; he’s never before imagined actually getting to this point in his life, when he’d be ready to say the words he’s slowly building up to. Honestly, if the England Captain was anyone other than Owen Farrell himself, who’s been a major source of inspiration for Ellis in finding self-acceptance over the last year or two, he’s not sure he would ever have reached this point.

“I’m, uh…” He struggles for words to express what he needs to say, Faz waiting in – fortunately patient – silence, and decides that the best thing to do is to just go for it. “I’m gay.”

Faz blinks at him, and for a moment, Ellis finds his breath caught in his throat, diaphragm frozen as he waits for a response – any response – then, slowly, Faz smiles.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” the older man offers kindly, then pats the cushion next to him. “Come and sit down, mate. You’re shaking like a fucking leaf.”

Relieved, Ellis staggers over to sink onto the couch, blowing out the air that had been stuck in his chest as he does so, and Faz’s smile turns sympathetic.

“Is this a new realisation, or are you just comfortable enough to tell people now?”

“I just feel ready now,” Ellis admits, hesitating briefly before adding, “Partly because of you.”

“Me?” Faz echoes, then softens visibly with realisation. “Because I came out?”

Wordless, Ellis nods. He still remembers that moment, at the start of the South Africa tour, when Faz sat them all down and explained, no-nonsense, that he was telling them this because he trusted them, and because he wanted to be open with them as their Captain: that he was pansexual, and that no, he wasn’t attracted to kitchenware, and that it certainly didn’t mean he couldn’t be in a relationship with a woman. The flyhalf’s confidence had knocked Ellis off his feet, leaving him awe-stricken for several days; in November, he summoned up the courage to come out to Kyle, and the rest, as they say, is history.

“Glad to help,” Faz offers after a moment, seeming a little touched himself. “So… Where are you at? Are you looking to come out to the rest of the boys? You just wanted someone to know? Anyone else already know?”

“Sincks knows,” Ellis explains, steeling himself briefly before adding, “We’re, um…”

Faz’s eyes widen just barely with realisation, his chin lifting.

“Good for you two,” he replies, smile widening, though his brow creases slightly after a moment. “He know you’re doing this?”

“Yeah, we spoke about it,” Ellis assures quickly. “He suggested I could tell you about us while I’m at it.”

It was also Kyle who first suggested that Ellis come out to Faz at all, given that the first thing _he’d_ done after Faz came out was approach their new Captain for a similar talk of his own and Faz had, apparently, been incredibly open and helpful – a sentiment Ellis can certainly echo, now that his apprehension is all but forgotten, his nerves set easily aside by the man sitting next to him.

“Alright.” Faz relaxes at once. “And the boys? You want me to talk to Eddie? Need anything else?”

Ellis forces himself to take some time and think it over. He’s considered coming out to the rest of the team, but both he and Kyle are in agreement that it might be best to wait for a bit and let it all settle down first. Eddie, he’s barely even thought about, but…

“We’re probably going to take a bit more time before we tell the rest of the lads,” Ellis explains, relieved when Faz nods in immediate acceptance. “I haven’t really thought about Eddie – I’d have to talk to Kyle first, I reckon.”

“Of course,” Faz nods. “If or when you’re ready to tell the lads, just let me know – and if you do decide you’d rather I talk to Eddie, again: just say the word. Is there anything else – anything at all?”

There’s one thing on the tip of Ellis’ tongue, one thing he wants to ask, but he’s not sure how Faz would react, never mind if it’s something he really wants to bring up at all.

“Anything, mate,” Faz adds gently, nodding his encouragement.

_Well, he asked._

“How do you deal with teammates who aren’t…” Ellis trails off, searching for a word to express what he wants, and almost regrets bringing it up when Faz deflates, the older man’s gaze falling away as his entire body seems to slump.

“You mean like Billy?” the Captain sighs, eyes flickering rapidly around the room before he blinks twice in quick succession and turns back to Ellis. “I… I don’t always, to be honest. There’s a few of us at Sarries, who are queer in some way or another – he apologised to us, and some of the other lads spent some time making sure he understands what was wrong with what he did – I think, really, there comes a point where you have to step back and let someone else deal with it for you – someone who isn’t so personally affected by it. You’ve got to know when to stick up for yourself and when to let the rest of the boys do it for you.”

Slowly, Ellis nods, and Faz huffs out a tired laugh.

“That’s probably not the answer you wanted,” he adds, shaking his head. “It’s… You’ve got to stay open, make it clear that what they’ve done isn’t acceptable, and if your team doesn’t support you in that, you take it higher. If there’s no one else around to stick up for you, you stick up for yourself – and I’m just a phone call away, if we’re not in camp. That goes for Sincks, too, if he needs it. But… Sometimes you just have to accept that you believe different things. Whatever you do, you can’t get aggressive, because no one’s going to change anything, then. They’ll just get defensive and fire right back. So with Billy, we all sat down as a club, and made it clear first and foremost that we respect his faith, right? That’s important. My family’s Christian, same with a lot of the lads, and you can’t just start a crusade against Christianity or Islam, or…”

Faz shrugs, taking a moment to draw in a breath, and Ellis waits in silence. This is probably exactly the opposite of what he’d do in such a situation, but he can certainly see where Faz is coming from, and Billy hasn’t made another comment since.

“So we made it clear we weren’t attacking his faith, and then we explained where the problem was with what he said and how that could hurt people – I think it was the realisation that people will actually suffer because of what he said that got to him.”

Apparently finished, Faz turns back in Ellis’ direction, shrugging again, and it’s all Ellis can do to nod slowly as he digests the words. Honestly, when asking the question, he didn’t really think about the club connection; shit, it must have been horrible for Faz to sit there and watch his clubmate say those things.

“If I were you…” Faz pauses for a second, seeming to think it over. “I mean, I never really _came out_ to Sarries – at least, not for several years. I had a brief thing with a teammate back when I was in the academy, and everyone knew about that, and my dad was aware too… But if you’re not out at your club…?”

Ellis shakes his head in confirmation when Faz shoots him a questioning glance.

“I’d at least make sure some of your clubmates know, if I were you,” Faz concludes. “Coley’s quite good on all that. Fordy’s obviously got several years with me under his belt… Last I knew, Lennie was getting some education _from_ his brother on how to be more supportive…”

He snorts dryly, even as Ellis drinks in the words, tucking them away. The thought that his clubmates might not actually be a closed-off wall of anti-gayness is quite heartening, in all honesty.

“And if you want help coming out to any of the Leicester boys in camp, I can do that,” Faz concludes, which catches Ellis’ attention at once.

“Really? You’d do that?”

“If you want, I can set up a time with, say, Fordy, and sit there with you through all of it,” Faz tells him sincerely. “You don’t have to rush into it, but if you _do_ want to do it today, for example… Just let me know. You’re not alone, mate.”

 _Jesus_ , Ellis didn’t think those words would ever sound so incredible. Yes, he knows he’s not alone; he has Kyle, and his family, who took their time coming around to the idea but since, have bene nothing but kind and supportive, and yet hearing those words from his International Captain is something entirely different – something 10-, 15-, or 20-year-old Ellis would never even have dreamed of.

“Thanks,” he manages, refusing to get choked up. “That sounds quite good actually – to come out to the Leicester boys at some point. Maybe before the rest of the team.”

Faz nods, but doesn’t speak, seemingly aware that Ellis has more to say.

“I think I’d talk to Sincks first, but…” He nods, clearing his throat. “Thanks, Faz. Thanks a lot.”

“Anytime,” Faz assures at once, clapping Ellis on the shoulder, then glances down at his watch. “Alright, you think of anything else, just let me know. My door’s always open – you _can_ knock on it, you know, mate?”

The flyhalf’s teasing grin has Ellis huffing, faintly embarrassed, even as he stands to head back to Kyle, far lighter than when he sat down.

_England Camp, week after Scotland v. England_

“Alright, Ellis?” Faz murmurs, leaning in somewhat closer than necessary to shake Ellis’ hand to keep the others from overhearing, Ellis unable to find the voice for anything other than a jerky nod as he glances over the Captain’s shoulder to his Leicester teammates.

It didn’t take long, talking to Kyle, to agree that it would be best for him to tell at least some of the boys at Tigers, and certainly, they were both fully aware that he’d find it easier with Faz’s help. Still, he left the decision for a week, just in case he changed his mind, and only approached Faz after the game against Scotland to request assistance, to which the Captain readily agreed. At the time, he’d felt more than ready.

Now, faced with George Ford, Ben Youngs _and_ Jonny May all in one room, each of them equally confused, he’s not sure he wants to do this. All the same, he nods, taking only the time he needs to draw in a deep breath before following Faz to sit down next to his Captain, across from his clubmates.

“Everything alright?” Ben hedges cautiously, glancing between them with a frown before his gaze settles on Faz, but Faz merely nods, turning to smile encouragingly at Ellis. “Gengey? What’s up, lad?”

Hurriedly, Ellis swallows the lump in his throat as best he can.

“Listen, boys, I’ve got something I need to tell you,” he begins, trying to inject his usual confidence into the words.

“You’re moving to Saracens!” Jonny exclaims, eyes wide with horror as he turns from Ellis to Faz and then back. “Ellis –”

“What?” Ellis squints at him. “No! Like, no offence, Faz, but that’s not me. Nah, I’m gay.”

 _Jesus Christ_ , he said it. It’s out, and there’s no takebacks now.

“Hang on, _what_?” Ben gapes. “Did you just –?”

“So you’re _not_ moving to Saracens?” Jonny checks, eyeing Faz warily.

“I’m glad you’re happy to tell us,” Fordy tells him warmly, leaning over to pat his upper arm in gentle comfort. “Is there anything you need from us, or did you just want us to know?”

“I just felt ready to tell you boys,” Ellis explains, glad that both Ben and Jonny have quietened to listen. “I’m thinking of coming out to the rest of the boys here soon, but it seemed right to tell you first.”

“Oh, we see how it is,” Ben teases, rolling his eyes; Ellis can only relax, slumping back as Faz beams next to him.

“I’ll head off, now, if I’m not needed?” the Captain offers, Ellis surprised by how happy he is to nod in agreement, turning back to his teammates as Faz wanders off.

“He’s so pleased, isn’t he?” Fordy grins as soon as Faz is gone, snorting as he eyes the door that Faz has just closed behind himself with fond amusement. “He _loves_ it when someone goes to him for advice on queer stuff.”

Ben snickers, shaking his head, and Ellis finds himself unable to deny it. Faz _does_ seem to enjoy helping out, even if it’s not necessarily for so trivial a reason as George seems to be making it out as; distantly, Ellis can’t help but wonder if Faz had someone to take on that role for him and delights in passing on the support, or if he’s trying to make up for something he never got. Maybe, he just likes helping people – either way, Ellis is grateful for it.

“In all seriousness, mate,” Jonny starts, drawing his attention back. “You’ve got our full support, whoever you decide to tell or whatever you want to do.”

“But we _do_ demand the right to meet any boyfriends,” Ben tags on, grinning.

Laughing, Ellis shakes his head.

“Nah, you’ve already met my boy,” he tells them freely, George’s eyebrows shooting upwards at once. “I’ll introduce you properly soon.”

“You’d better,” Ben agrees, standing and leaning over to pat his shoulder. “Was there anything else you needed to say, mate?”

“Nah, that was it,” Ellis assures, relaxing with the realisation that this has gone better than he could ever have imagined. “Thanks for being cool with it.”

“’S just human decency,” George tells him, standing as well. “Anything you need, you let us know – anyone gives you problems, we’ll have your back, alright?”

Try as he might, Ellis can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face, a mixture of relief and sheer happiness at the knowledge that not only do his teammates accept him, they support him as well.

“Yeah,” he confirms easily, finding himself overcome by the urge to hug Fordy suddenly; the smaller man goes easily into the embrace when Ellis pushes out of his seat and reaches out, patting him firmly on the back.

“You need anything, we’ve got you,” comes the murmured echo of George’s earlier words.

“Well, where’s my hug, then?” Ben demands loudly, and Ellis has to snort as he pulls away and reaches for the impatient scrumhalf. “You’ve got a week to tell us who your boyfriend is, you hear me?”

“Unless you’re not comfortable with that,” Jonny chimes in. “Then you’ve got as long as you need.”

“Obviously,” Ben nods sagely. “Come on, I reckon we’ve got time for a celebratory coffee.”

It’s on the way out of the hotel that they pass by Faz again, deep in conversation with Jamie George as the two wander in with Elliot Daly. Glancing over, the Captain offers them a smile and a nod, then turns back to listen to Elliot’s contribution, Ben apparently holding in his laughter only until they’re out of the building.

“He really _is_ like a proud gay dad, isn’t he?”

Maybe he is, but Ellis certainly doesn’t think he minds, and really, it’s certainly not what matters to him at the moment. Maybe, though, he should text Kyle and ask if he wants to meet them at whatever coffee shop they find – introduce these lads to his boyfriend before the week-long countdown has even really begun.

Ah, he can see their faces already.


End file.
